Vivek Singh on Life Coaching

How Can Our "Guilt" Restrict Our Business or Personal Growth??

The first thing that came across my mind when I woke up today was this question, “How easily guilt takes over us completely (Be it business or some other aspect of life) when it gets stuck in our mind??”. This is something what happens with us and we are unaware of it. We are unable to identify and release ourselves from that unwanted feeling of self-accusation and fail to create  the desired results and learn to live with that guilt whole of our life.

A few months ago, I had a session with a partly successful entrepreneur, ‘partly successful’ because he was capable of accomplishing much more but he was lagging behind. During our conversations he revealed that his business was not expanding over its current dimensions from a large span of past 10 years though he was capable of expanding that business to a much larger extent as he was highly skilled, had vast knowledge, contacts and even opportunities were available.

So WHAT was holding him back?

Answering to one self-inquiry, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much you deserve to be successful?” and he said 6.

He, surely, was accusing himself for something when he graded himself only 6 on deserving scale. When our conversations reached some depth, he could see deep into his memories that one incident when he had done something wrong, long back,  and he was holding that ‘I am not a good person because I did hurt someone’, this was the guilt which was holding him back to take the focused actions for his business growth and was having the experience of low self worth. Subconsciously, He felt guilty all the time, used to blame himself, which had an intense and adverse impact on his performance about which he was not even aware of. He wasn’t being able to give his best in his profession though he wanted to. So, things started to fall apart and he got demotivated and there was struggle within.

Forgiving is a difficult but very powerful access to get free from these stuck subconscious level negative energies. Realising  that he didn’t have to carry the burden of that guilt anymore because this only keeps on getting worse, he chose to lead a life free from that guilt, and he chose to set himself free from that regret. After a few minutes of our conversations, he was able to forgive himself completely and get free from the burden of that guilt which created the experience of  freedom, aliveness and peace which was evident from his approach, actions in his business there on.

“I heard a voice that told me that I’m essential. How all my fears are limiting my potential. Said it’s time to step into the light and use every bit of power I have inside.” 

- India Arie

Look at your mistakes, which you committed knowingly, unknowingly, under certain compelling situations in the past. See if there is any impact of those mistakes on you, in  your relationships, in your experiencing life, in your, professional  or business growth.

Maybe, It’s time now to take the responsibility and get free from these guilt or you may have that remorse forever, forcing you to shrink yourself into some undeserving, negligible beings, which you, certainly, are not. You are what your highest potential is, and not the limited one which got created out of your own experiences of early part of your life. You can achieve all that you desire faster when you resolve this, and don’t you dare think for a second that you don’t deserve it because you do.

And remember,

“It’s never late to be who you might have been.”
- George Eliot

Anil Bahl is a Life Coach who works with Corporate and Entrepreneurs for their higher Performance and Business Growth.

Whatsapp: 9999 806736
Email : AnilBahl@ElationLifeCoaching.com www.AnilBahl.com

Your Childhood Haunts Your Success??

All my years as a Life and Executive coach, I have been faced with this question time and again.

“What has our childhood got to do with the way we lead our life today?”

And every time the answer has been right there, loud and clear, staring back at me.

EVERYTHING.

I have come across many complex cases of downfall, incompetence, failure and insecurities throughout my career. Let me share with you a case that enriched my experience and brought me closer to the dark alleys of a beautiful childhood.

Not a long time back I had the privilege to coach a remarkable middle aged man who happened to be working as a President in a renowned MNC.

His expectation: Simple. To strengthen his self-belief and confidence.

His challenge: Inability to stand up to the top level management.

Enquiring into his professional and personal life, I made a few obvious discoveries about his thoughts towards his employers and his own self in general.

·         He never spoke up his thoughts before his seniors. Why?

• They might get offended.
• I might be wrong and I might make a fool out of myself.
• Maybe they will say something harsh.

• I guess I don’t know as much as them.
• I feel nervous and scared.
• But I was rarely wrong and it is weird that I knew a lot more than them.

My coachee had been undergoing these experiences and doubts for the past 3 to 4 years and had been living in a constant lack of self-assurance and poise.

What was important at this point was to understand his life deeply, helping him walk down the memory lane, into his personal life, his youth and childhood to gain access to any issues embedded deep down.

• As a 6 year old my father trusted me with some work and unfortunately I failed, not according to me but for my father, I failed miserably, that is why he shouted at me.
• I was scared of my father. I felt that he dominated me.
• I felt stupid and incapable in front of him.
• The fear of doing everything wrong sat within me.
• Maybe I am a Loser, jinxed.

It was these feelings, emotions and incidents which went on to affect his entire adult life. His actions were subconsciously driven by his baseless beliefs of being useless and incompetent.

When he realised that, he was startled and shocked to realise that he was holding false beliefs, harbouring baseless emotions.

This discovery was all that triggered in him the resolve to TURN HIS LIFE AROUND. When he saw that the world wasn’t all that bad, it was just that in his heart he held a false belief, it was enough to bring back his Lost Confidence and Conviction.

Many of us reading this must be passing off the above study as a case of unresolved conflicts.

“Poor guy… Happens to people with abusive parents! Doesn’t happen to normal people.”

Did you just think or say that..?? You did.

Many of us fail to accept that these issues are common but often overlooked. I have been in countless number of sessions where almost all the conflicts went back to the person’s childhood. Take a minute and reflect. Don’t worry,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Almost, all of us across the Globe are living a life limited by self-suppression, sponsored by our own self-limiting beliefs.

Our subconsciously hidden childhood memories haunt almost each one of us at some or the other time. Almost all of us, at some or the other time in our life, live in the Fear of being incompetent, useless, stupid and hopeless and engage ourselves to avoid confronting these situations, because after all who wants to feel low? No one wants to face the realities.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY?

If your self-belief continues going downhill, you are spiralling down towards failure. Never will you be able to break the shackles and turn your life around, at least in the way you have been living your life up until now, otherwise you would have already dealt with it. Your fear of failure gives birth to

FRUSTRATION. LONELINESS. ANGER

The important thing is how we deal with it, Right Now.

HOW CAN YOU MOVE TOWARDS A NEW INSPIRING FUTURE?

It is high time you start Reflecting. It might come as a surprise that not everything you believe is True.

You probably have been living the life of Un-truth and impacting yourself uselessly for ages.

BELIEVE. CHANGE. SUCCEED

Now repeat these three words. Yes, this is your future. Let these three words define your Future. It is in you to change your Life… and it is NEVER TOO LATE.

Once you know what it is you need to get rid of, the healing process gets much easier. And let me assure you, YOU can catch your demons, battle them and come out Victorious in the end. A Long but sure recovery!

Remember, Your Beliefs are Only Thoughts.

Limiting Beliefs are born out of traumatic experiences of life.

Evaluate your limiting beliefs.

Whatever limitations and boundaries you have set are not always True. Oddly, this is the design of life and each one of is a part of this design.

You are the architect of your life; don’t let your past experiences define your Tomorrow.

You have the Power and the choice to alter those limiting beliefs and replace it with a new belief which gives you power, happiness and satisfaction.

Whatever issues of diffidence, doubt and distrust we face in Life today are associated with some childhood trauma, which is all too dominant in our subconscious.

Without a Doubt YOU can Identify It and Win It!

Anil Bahl is a Life Coach who works with Corporate and Entrepreneurs for their higher Performance and Business Growth.

Whatsapp: 9999 806736

Email : AnilBahl@ElationLifeCoaching.com www.AnilBahl.com